Naughty Hairy Chest Ugly Christmas Sweater, Red Funny Adult Xmas Jumper, Risque Gag Gift
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Bring outrageous laughs to every holiday gathering with this red ugly Christmas sweater featuring a pixel-style hairy chest design. Cozy, unisex, and perfect for gag gifts, White Elephant exchanges, and festive photo ops.
Features & Highlights
- Bold all-over knit look with cheeky hairy chest graphic
- Unisex fit with ribbed cuffs and hem; comfy, warm winter layer
- Guaranteed conversation starter for parties, bar crawls, and office contests
- Great holiday gift for friends with a fun sense of humor
- Care: Turn inside out, machine wash cold with like colors; tumble dry low or hang dry
- Sizing: Choose true-to-size or size up for an oversized cozy vibe
Curated and guaranteed by Oak & Ivory.
Details & Care
Our products are thoughtfully designed with a focus on quality, comfort, and everyday use. Each item is carefully crafted using selected materials to provide lasting performance and a refined finish.
Product Details
- Premium quality materials
- Comfortable everyday design
- Durable construction
- Carefully finished details
Care Instructions
To help preserve the appearance and performance of your product, follow the recommended care instructions. Avoid prolonged exposure to direct sunlight, moisture, or harsh chemicals, and store the product in a clean, dry place when not in use.
Order & Support
Shopping with us is simple and secure. From placing your order to delivery, we're committed to providing a smooth experience with reliable service and responsive customer support.
Why Shop With Us
- Secure checkout
- Fast order processing (1-3 business days)
- Easy 30-day returns and exchanges
- Friendly, 24/7 customer support
Shipping Information
Orders are processed promptly and shipped using trusted delivery partners (USPS, FedEx, DHL). Standard shipping typically arrives within 3-7 business days across the United States, and tracking information is automatically emailed as soon as your order leaves our workshop.
Returns & Exchanges
We want you to love what you ordered. If you need a different size or style, we offer hassle-free exchanges with pre-paid return labels.
Order & Support
Shopping with us is simple and secure. From placing your order to delivery, we're committed to providing a smooth experience with reliable service and responsive customer support.
Why Shop With Us
- Secure checkout
- Fast order processing (1-3 business days)
- Easy 30-day returns and exchanges
- Friendly, 24/7 customer support
Shipping Information
Orders are processed promptly and shipped using trusted delivery partners (USPS, FedEx, DHL). Standard shipping typically arrives within 3-7 business days across the United States, and tracking information is automatically emailed as soon as your order leaves our workshop.
Returns & Exchanges
We want you to love what you ordered. If you need a different size or style, we offer hassle-free exchanges with pre-paid return labels.
Sizing is the single most common reason people return apparel, so we publish the real numbers instead of vague S/M/L advice. Every measurement below is the garment laid flat, taken from the blank manufacturer’s own chart. Inches first, centimetres in brackets.
These numbers are rounded, and real garments vary by roughly 0.5–2 inches. That is normal for printed apparel and is not a defect.
How to measure
- Take a shirt you already own and like the fit of.
- Lay it flat and smooth out the wrinkles.
- Width (A) — measure straight across, one inch below the armhole seam.
- Chest — the width doubled. Compare this against the measurement around the fullest part of your own chest.
- Length (B) — from the highest point of the shoulder straight down to the hem.
- Sleeve (D2) — from the centre back of the neck, along the shoulder, out to the cuff. On hoodies and sweatshirts this number is much larger than a t-shirt sleeve because of where it starts.
A quick rule that works for most people: pick the size whose chest figure is about 2 inches (5 cm) larger than your own chest measurement. Want it loose over a duty t-shirt, or between sizes? Take one size up. Every product page has a size guide button that will do this calculation for you.
Which blank is on which product?
The blank used for an item is listed in the Product details table on its own page, and the size guide button on that page shows the matching chart. If we change a blank, this page and that chart are updated first.
Unisex T-Shirt — Gildan 5000 Heavy Cotton
Used on every unisex tee in the store.
| Size | Width (A) | Chest | Length (B) | Sleeve from centre back (D2) |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| S | 18″ (45.7 cm) | 36″ (91.4 cm) | 28″ (71.1 cm) | 15.75″ (40 cm) |
| M | 20″ (50.8 cm) | 40″ (101.6 cm) | 29″ (73.7 cm) | 17″ (43.2 cm) |
| L | 22″ (55.9 cm) | 44″ (111.8 cm) | 30″ (76.2 cm) | 18.5″ (47 cm) |
| XL | 24″ (61 cm) | 48″ (121.9 cm) | 31″ (78.7 cm) | 20.1″ (51.1 cm) |
| 2XL | 26″ (66 cm) | 52″ (132.1 cm) | 32″ (81.3 cm) | 21.65″ (55 cm) |
| 3XL | 28″ (71.1 cm) | 56″ (142.2 cm) | 33″ (83.8 cm) | 22.8″ (57.9 cm) |
| 4XL | 30″ (76.2 cm) | 60″ (152.4 cm) | 34″ (86.4 cm) | 24.4″ (62 cm) |
| 5XL | 32″ (81.3 cm) | 64″ (162.6 cm) | 35″ (88.9 cm) | 25.2″ (64 cm) |
Fit note: Cut straight through the body, not tapered, with taped neck and shoulders. If you are between sizes, or want room over a duty t-shirt, size up.
Manufacturer’s published chart
Unisex Pullover Hoodie — Gildan 18500 Heavy Blend
| Size | Width (A) | Chest | Length (B) | Sleeve from centre back (D2) |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| S | 20″ (50.8 cm) | 40″ (101.6 cm) | 27″ (68.6 cm) | 33.5″ (85.1 cm) |
| M | 22″ (55.9 cm) | 44″ (111.8 cm) | 28″ (71.1 cm) | 34.65″ (88 cm) |
| L | 24″ (61 cm) | 48″ (121.9 cm) | 29″ (73.7 cm) | 35.4″ (89.9 cm) |
| XL | 26″ (66 cm) | 52″ (132.1 cm) | 30″ (76.2 cm) | 36.6″ (93 cm) |
| 2XL | 28″ (71.1 cm) | 56″ (142.2 cm) | 31″ (78.7 cm) | 37.4″ (95 cm) |
| 3XL | 30″ (76.2 cm) | 60″ (152.4 cm) | 32″ (81.3 cm) | 38.8″ (98.6 cm) |
| 4XL | 32″ (81.3 cm) | 64″ (162.6 cm) | 33″ (83.8 cm) | 39.4″ (100.1 cm) |
| 5XL | 34″ (86.4 cm) | 68″ (172.7 cm) | 34″ (86.4 cm) | 40.55″ (103 cm) |
Fit note: Cut roomy by design. Most people take their normal tee size. The sleeve is measured from the centre back of the neck to the cuff, which is why the number is much larger than a t-shirt sleeve.
Manufacturer’s published chart
Unisex Crewneck Sweatshirt — Gildan 18000 Heavy Blend
Used on the sweatshirt in the store.
| Size | Width (A) | Chest | Length (B) | Sleeve from centre back (D2) |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| S | 20″ (50.8 cm) | 40″ (101.6 cm) | 27″ (68.6 cm) | 33.5″ (85.1 cm) |
| M | 22″ (55.9 cm) | 44″ (111.8 cm) | 28″ (71.1 cm) | 34.65″ (88 cm) |
| L | 24″ (61 cm) | 48″ (121.9 cm) | 29″ (73.7 cm) | 35.4″ (89.9 cm) |
| XL | 26″ (66 cm) | 52″ (132.1 cm) | 30″ (76.2 cm) | 36.6″ (93 cm) |
| 2XL | 28″ (71.1 cm) | 56″ (142.2 cm) | 31″ (78.7 cm) | 37.4″ (95 cm) |
| 3XL | 30″ (76.2 cm) | 60″ (152.4 cm) | 32″ (81.3 cm) | 38.8″ (98.6 cm) |
| 4XL | 32″ (81.3 cm) | 64″ (162.6 cm) | 33″ (83.8 cm) | 39.4″ (100.1 cm) |
| 5XL | 34″ (86.4 cm) | 68″ (172.7 cm) | 34″ (86.4 cm) | 40.55″ (103 cm) |
Fit note: Same body block as the pullover hoodie. Cut roomy by design; most people take their normal tee size.
Manufacturer’s published chart
Garment-Dyed Heavyweight Tee — Comfort Colors C1717
| Size | Width (A) | Chest | Length (B) | Sleeve from centre back (D2) |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| S | 18.25″ (46.4 cm) | 36.5″ (92.7 cm) | 26.625″ (67.6 cm) | 16.25″ (41.3 cm) |
| M | 20.25″ (51.4 cm) | 40.5″ (102.9 cm) | 28″ (71.1 cm) | 17.75″ (45.1 cm) |
| L | 22″ (55.9 cm) | 44″ (111.8 cm) | 29.375″ (74.6 cm) | 19″ (48.3 cm) |
| XL | 24″ (61 cm) | 48″ (121.9 cm) | 30.75″ (78.1 cm) | 20.5″ (52.1 cm) |
| 2XL | 26″ (66 cm) | 52″ (132.1 cm) | 31.625″ (80.3 cm) | 21.75″ (55.2 cm) |
| 3XL | 27.75″ (70.5 cm) | 55″ (139.7 cm) | 32.5″ (82.5 cm) | 23.25″ (59.1 cm) |
Fit note: Heavyweight garment-dyed cotton with a relaxed, boxy fit. Expect a little shrinkage in length after the first wash.
Manufacturer’s published chart
Mineral Wash T-Shirt — CD1300
| Size | Width | Chest | Length | Sleeve |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| S | 18″ (45.7 cm) | 36″ (91.4 cm) | 26.5″ (67.3 cm) | 13″ (33 cm) |
| M | 19″ (48.3 cm) | 38″ (96.5 cm) | 27″ (68.6 cm) | 14″ (35.6 cm) |
| L | 22″ (55.9 cm) | 44″ (111.8 cm) | 30″ (76.2 cm) | 15″ (38.1 cm) |
| XL | 24″ (61 cm) | 48″ (121.9 cm) | 30″ (76.2 cm) | 16″ (40.6 cm) |
| 2XL | 26″ (66 cm) | 52″ (132.1 cm) | 31″ (78.7 cm) | 16″ (40.6 cm) |
| 3XL | 27.5″ (69.8 cm) | 55″ (139.7 cm) | 31″ (78.7 cm) | 17″ (43.2 cm) |
Fit note: The body is slightly shorter than a standard unisex tee. Check the length column if you prefer a longer hem.
Bella + Canvas Unisex Tee — Bella + Canvas 3001
| Size | Width | Chest | Length | Sleeve |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| S | 17.5″ (44.5 cm) | 35″ (88.9 cm) | 27″ (68.6 cm) | 12.5″ (31.8 cm) |
| M | 19″ (48.3 cm) | 38″ (96.5 cm) | 28.5″ (72.4 cm) | 13″ (33 cm) |
| L | 21.5″ (54.6 cm) | 43″ (109.2 cm) | 29.5″ (74.9 cm) | 14.75″ (37.5 cm) |
| XL | 23″ (58.4 cm) | 46″ (116.8 cm) | 30.5″ (77.5 cm) | 15.5″ (39.4 cm) |
Fit note: Retail fit — cut slimmer and shorter than the Gildan 5000. Size up if you prefer a relaxed fit.
Youth T-Shirt — Gildan 5000B
| Size | Width | Chest | Length | Sleeve |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| XS | 16.15″ (41 cm) | 32.3″ (82 cm) | 20.5″ (52.1 cm) | 13.4″ (34 cm) |
| S | 16.95″ (43.1 cm) | 33.9″ (86.1 cm) | 22.05″ (56 cm) | 14.2″ (36.1 cm) |
| M | 18.1″ (46 cm) | 36.2″ (91.9 cm) | 23.6″ (59.9 cm) | 15.35″ (39 cm) |
| L | 18.9″ (48 cm) | 37.8″ (96 cm) | 25.2″ (64 cm) | 16.15″ (41 cm) |
Fit note: Youth sizing. Measure a shirt the child already wears rather than guessing from age.
Manufacturer’s published chart
Care instructions
Wash inside out in cold water and tumble dry low. Do not iron directly on the print, and avoid fabric softener, which breaks the ink down over time. Washed this way, prints hold up well, though like any printed garment they will show wear with heavy use.
Still not sure?
Email contact@oakandivoryllc.com or call +1 406-235-7067 with your usual size and the item you are looking at, and we will give you our honest recommendation. If our recommendation turns out to be wrong, we cover the cost of shipping the exchange out to you — see Returns & Refunds.
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